Recently in Shanghai, I lived with my mother and my younger siblings as I wished. Because my younger sister’s child is small, she wakes up at five o’clock every morning for milk. The younger brother has to get up early and go to work outside. My mother gets up early to go shopping, so I will follow Get up early, now I, go to bed early, get up early, exercise, my heart is full, calm, and feel happy.
I originally thought that after the divorce, I wanted to start everything again and I had to rely on myself for everything. But when I came to Shanghai unexpectedly, I could still enjoy the blessings. My mother gave us a few laundry and cooking every day. She always despised me for being stupid and said me. When I came to Shanghai, I couldn’t tell the difference between wet and dry garbage. I was so stupid that I couldn’t mop the floor clean. I couldn’t even understand that I folded my clothes. When I washed the dishes, she told her to come. This kind of dislike, she said it’s no wonder Mr. C divorced me. If she were a man, she would have divorced me…
My mother can say that what I say is worthless, and what I said makes me doubt life, but my sister is jealous. She smiled and said: Mom, in your eyes, is my cock just picked? Why do you never feel sorry for me doing housework? How come you never say that I can’t do that? “Then my mother smiled and said: “You are smarter than her, you have been fine since you were a child”
My brother also irritated me and said, “Sister, the person I have always admired the most is you. You can speak well. When I was a child, I had any difficulties or things in my mind and I asked you to talk to you. I didn’t listen to others. Speaking of my heart, but how do I feel that you are so stupid now? Nothing. What’s the use except making money? A woman like you is my wife. I definitely don’t want to. Don’t make me anxious. Brother-in-law must be I divorced you when I was speechless to you… Nothing. Are you stupid as a micro business? I remember that you used to cook for someone else’s house.
However, at that time in 2012, I was very young and gentle. I also went to our vice president’s house to be a babysitter, so that I didn’t need to rent a house to live in her house, in exchange for me to wash and cook for their house, and help her take care of them. The family got the son of lymphoma, and then many stories happened…
Think about it, I was really capable at that time. I was doing sales work outside during the day and doing housework at their house at night. I could endure all the grievances and helplessness, but it was also because of that experience that made me stronger. I know I can’t be so scared, let me know that I still have a lot of potential, make me want to become a strong in life, a strong woman in my career.
So, in their home for more than a year, following our domineering hostess hostess and her son, I learned the thinking of being strong. Since I left their home, I have changed, become selfish and domineering, and also become strong and brave. I am no longer a mere little woman.
After listening to my family, I want to try to find who I used to be, because these years I have been a successful woman in the eyes of outsiders, but only I know that I am actually a little woman, just because I have been bullied too much , I have lost too much, and I have suffered too much. That’s why I changed. But after the change, people around me feel that I am no longer the same I was before. Obviously, this kind of me also Makes Mr. C not like it so much.
So I was enthusiastic about making noodles for them at noon that day. I want to change my life habits. I don’t want to just be a machine that can only work and make money, because money can’t keep people! However, I couldn’t eat the noodles I cooked in the end because I used sugar as salt. I can’t really blame this!
My sister explained that this is the kind of fine molecular sugar her mother-in-law bought from Jiangsu, so it looks the same as salt. My sister barely ate a large bowl of noodles in order not to make me sad. I think I’m ignorant, it turns out that sugar is so soft…
In the eyes of my family, I don’t know how, it’s not good, but they just say it, but they still treat me quietly. In the eyes of my younger brothers and sisters: my mother all said that I feel sorry for me for fear of doing something. , I now understand that there is a kind of love that is disgusting. The only people who still love you who know you are not good are your parents and family ❤️ They make me feel warm. My mother cooks a table of good dishes for us every day, let me I feel very happy, the food my mother cooks is a delicious meal.
Because I am a single-parent family, since my father passed away, my mother has been working outside to raise our three children. Later, I went out of society early, and started living independently at the age of 17, working hard in Wuhan, and later married to another hometown in Lichuan, Hubei. , My sister got married in Shanghai and brought my mother to help her with the baby. My brother went to university in Shanghai and then graduated and worked here. So if I were not divorced, it would be really rare to live with my maiden family!
So I think everything has a bad side and a good side. My mother said that I never needed her to worry about it. She used to think that I was her pride, and she even praised me when she met people in the village. She never thought that I would not make trouble. People who got divorced directly. Although she was angry, she felt that her daughter was wronged, she also felt unhappy and felt unworthy for me, but I told her, “I’m really really I don’t want to live in a depressive environment anymore. I really like the food you cook. I haven’t eaten it well for more than ten years. I just look forward to going home for a few days every New Year. I will eat enough this time.” Mom I won’t say much anymore, so we are very happy to get along ❤️
It’s just that every day when I see my mother make so many delicious foods, I want my daughter to come to me because her grandma is really good at eating. She always cooks the food and never considers meat and vegetables. Nutritional collocation, and I have been busy at work before and have never been in the kitchen, so I have closed one eye when eating for so many years. When I think of this, I miss my daughter very much. I am really ashamed of her. , I really want to bring her to my side, look at her every day, make food for her with my mother, play with her and study with her…
In fact, it’s been a month since my divorce, and it’s been half a month since I came to Shanghai. Fortunately, I have my mother’s family backing me. I am happy to stay with them every day. I am not particularly sad. It’s just that I don’t feel so sad at night. I don’t want to sleep until dawn like before, and I often think about the way forward at night so that I can avoid detours?
How can I live the life I really like, thinking about how to start a new job, but most of my thinking is about Mr. C and his children. When looking at the house, I want to rent an extra room, in case they someday Are you willing to come to me? What if my daughter comes to me someday? I have to consider renting a house near the kindergarten, with a better community environment and complete facilities for children, and then I must not work overtime at night when looking for a job, because I have to spend time with my daughter.
It seems that all the places I have traveled over the years are by their side, and I must take them with me wherever I go to play. I can’t play with it myself, so even if I’m divorced now, my future is in my heart. They are included in the plan. I think no matter how my life changes, no matter whether I have money or not, I want to be with them. They are the most important people in my heart. I have become accustomed to living with them. I have never thought about it. I can’t live with them for the rest of my life! Even if I don’t reconcile, I will make money in the future, and I will buy them a house again, because their earning power is really bad. I am really worried that they can live as well as before, but sometimes Thinking of this, my tears will stay, because we are really divorced and we are really no longer together. In the future, it may really not be the same as before and the family of three will go hand in hand…
After the divorce, Mr. C sent the video to my child. She is still so lively, cheerful and cute. She is as happy and happy as I am by her side. This is my gratitude and the result I want to see most. I feel what an incompetent mother I am. Children from other families cannot be separated from my mother, but I am still happy if my child is not there or not. I still love to laugh and play. There is a joy and disappointment in my heart. I think if the child is crying for me, maybe I will go back at all costs, but she does not, but this is also the reason why I was determined to leave at the beginning, because my child is really good, optimistic and positive.
My daughter, she has always lived with her father and grandparents. Apart from being comfortable by nature, not like work and not making money, Mr. C’s family is really good in dealing with people, especially in terms of character. It doesn’t cause trouble, and the family is harmonious. Mr. C’s parents care about their children and do everything for him. Mr. C respects his parents very much, so I can safely leave the child to their family because I don’t just work and make money. I really don’t care about other aspects, so Mr. C can’t stand my indifferent attitude towards life, and I can’t understand the Fenghuaxueyue he likes. All the good things in my concept need money support, so I It is impossible not to make money to accompany him to spend his credit card romantic.
Our divorce didn’t change the child’s lifestyle, it just missed me, so I feel that the child is very happy with me, and it’s just as happy without me. She doesn’t need me, but I think about the child wishfully. , Because for five years, I used to be together every day, opened my eyes and closed my eyes. She was by my side. She often made me laugh and asked me to play games with her. Actually, think about Mr. C who blamed me for not treating my children. Xin, I don’t think I’m totally unaccompanied by my child. It’s just that when I accompany him, I deal with most of the work on the mobile phone, giving her a good education and creating better material conditions for her. Why is it not a kind of love?
And at least I spend time with them at home every day. I think that compared to those parents and children who don’t have a home every day, I completely let the children become a family with left-behind children, right? However, Mr. C doesn’t think so. I don’t think I’m a fairy. I have to raise a large family and provide high car loans and mortgages. I also need to manage the team. I also need to cultivate myself to improve and manage my body and skin. The perfect wife, but why does he think I am doing badly?
Mr. C’s parents, from our divorce to today, did not say a word to me. Since the day I left, Mr. C has not taken the initiative to ask me how I am doing. He is happy every day, maybe he can see it through the circle of friends He thinks everything about me is pretty good, because I am a woman who will never slack off my micro-business career no matter what happens! Therefore, my circle of friends always shows my state. He may not see any emotions through the state of circle of friends like others. I have not announced the divorce in the circle of friends yet because I don’t want to be familiar with me. My friends saw that I have become so downhearted. Of course, maybe Mr. C doesn’t care whether I’m doing well, and he doesn’t even want to look at my circle of friends.
Even if I fell asleep and woke up at 3 o’clock that night and didn’t feel sleepy, I watched various jobs on the Internet, and I cheekily sent him a message telling him that I saw some good recruitment jobs, no education required, and the salary was pretty good. , He is also good at it, I also posted those work links to him, but did not reply to me! He didn’t reply to me even if it was late the next day, why would you send me a message in the middle of the night even if you say a greeting? I would feel his care for me, but he did not reply to me! He had already clearly told me that I would not come to Shanghai anymore, but I have not given up my heart.
Later, I sent him a message, because the car was going to be transferred, and the owner’s name was him. I sold the car and needed him to help me solve it. I sent him a message asking if he could just go to Wuhan to solve the car problem, by the way Shanghai, take the kids together, we live together, and then he looks for a job in Shanghai. If he has lived under my protection for so many years and feels that he has no face and self-esteem, then I can change it now, and he can do everything in the future. , He goes out to work well, I will accompany my children, and do my previous business on the phone by the way, so that at least our family is together!
But he said he didn’t want to, he didn’t want to come to Shanghai, so he didn’t come! Because he feels that coming to Shanghai is too far from his hometown, and he doesn’t want to rely on my family. In fact, I also made it very clear that we came to Shanghai on our own. My family can’t help him. We can also go out to rent a house. It’s okay to live with my family, but he said he didn’t want to come.
Then he said: “If you want to have a child, you come to Wuhan to see us. If you want to reconcile, why can’t you not come to us? I have been around you all these years, listening to you everything, so that It’s been like this. I just want to live my way now. If you want to come, you can come to us and I will take the child to Wuhan. Come if you want, but if you don’t want me to take her to play, things will be done. Let’s go back.” Later, he really took the children to Wuhan, but he never came to Shanghai to find me, and I did not go to Wuhan to find them!
At that moment, I learned a lot about letting the Buddha go. I knew that my waiting for half a month had gone to zero. As expected, they returned to their hometown the next day after coming to Wuhan. In fact, Wuhan was only five hours away from Shanghai by train. , If he was separated from me for 2 days before, he would come to see me, or I would go to see him, but this time both of us are frozen and no one is impulsive anymore. I think there is no impulse between the two And passion, we have become extremely calm. We have all learned to weigh the weight. In his opinion, coming to Shanghai will cost a lot of money. In my opinion, I don’t want to spend the hundreds of dollars on the fare.
In fact, the essence is not because we all saved money and didn’t meet each other, but because we really don’t have love between us, so we shirk each other through trouble. Think about it in 2014 when I called him to start a business and asked him if he wanted to. He partnered with me and he immediately resigned from the company. He came to my hometown to meet me the next day and put out tens of thousands of dollars to start a business with me. Then we began to fall in love. At that time, he could resign because of my phone call. He came to my hometown not far away. I believe that at that time he loved me, liked me, and wanted to be with me. At that time, because I wanted to marry him, I transferred the well-established store. Married thousands of miles to another country, and stayed in a completely unfamiliar city for more than five years. I think I loved him before, and I could give up everything to be with him, but now, it costs us a few hundred dollars to go back and forth. It’s all calculating, it’s not money, it’s love! When there is no love, the mind becomes extremely calm!
Actually, why I don’t want to go to Wuhan to find them? It’s not that I don’t want my daughter, nor that I completely let go of Mr. C. One: I think the two of us are divorced, I left his house and ran to Shanghai, his parents From the beginning to the end, I didn’t say a word to stay or call me, and I left their house. At this moment, what I thought in my heart is at least as a man, if you really love me in your heart, you should come and pick me up. ! I also want to see if he still cares about me, is he still willing to impulsive for me! So if he still loves me, he should come to me!
Second: I’m gone, he won’t be able to return to Shanghai with me again. If two people can’t reconcile, what’s the point of seeing each other? Don’t two people go to sleep for nothing? I don’t like unclear and unclear relationships. I’m a very axis person. One is one and two is two. Since there is no husband and wife relationship, I should keep a distance.
Maybe because of life, maybe because of experience, maybe because there is really no love, so the two people are no longer willing to talk to each other, thinking about the problem more thoroughly, I seem to have become smarter without love, this Is this kind of cleverness lucky or unfortunate? I actually prefer us who were impulsive for love before!
He arrived in Wuhan this time and didn’t come to Shanghai. At the end, he sent me a message saying: “Forget it, I won’t come. Even if we come and reconcile now, there will be conflicts in the future. It is better not to come” After receiving the conversation, I didn’t pray for him to come again. At that moment, I deeply understood that he really didn’t love me anymore, so he wanted to live out himself. It turned out that in his heart, he would rather have the so-called dignity and vanity. Compared with his self-confidence, he would rather not have me! Maybe he thinks I am not worthy of what he paid for me.
I figured it out. Without his love for me, I couldn’t be arrogant. I felt lonely, deserted, and desolate like never before. At that moment, I lost my pride and confidence! I feel that I have completely become a failure of a marriage, I have become a failed wife, a failed mother, I feel that I no longer have any charm, I have no pressure from my family, and I can finally live free and easy. But I’m not happy, thinking that in my life there will be no more quarrels between husbands and wives, children’s laughter, and everything around has become boring. When I used to fight for my family, love, and children, I was hard and happy. Happy!
But now, even if I work hard and make money, I don’t have a child and a lover by my side, I don’t have a family of three holding hands to watch the sunset, and I don’t have the sense of peace of mind that I wake up every day with him and her in bed. It seems everything It’s meaningless, there is no expectation in my heart, and there is no hope and motivation.
So people, no matter how difficult the family is, you should cherish it, and you need to work hard to maintain it; you must not feel hard, because families all over the world are the same. There are even more people who can’t even work hard to maintain that complete family. They can only be given up by their husbands or wives, abandoned by life, and there is no way. Compared to many people, think more about it. You already have many opportunities, and you are already very happy.
Maybe, I just need a little time to adjust to a person’s life.